Prejudices Aside

My first months clean and sober,

BJ & Stanice

BJ was one of the first women to really embrace the soul of me.  Didn’t put me down but was gentle and kind.  The Black women were hard, edgy, and clickish.  Ironic that BJ, a White woman, would be the first woman, I trusted in the program.  Made me believe that I would get better took the time to take me places, including one time the grocery store almost against my will. She said what are you gonna do instead of going with me.  It was my birthday. I said well… for real i don’t know but I’ll be alright.  “What makes you think you’ll be alright?  What do you normally do on your birthday?”  An honest answer came out before I could think of a lie, “Get high and have sex. In that order.”  Eye to eye, I surrendered.  “Okay the grocery store it is.”

I’ll never forget the friendship she offered nor the sense of sisterhood that gave me a glimpse of the woman I could become with a little help from my friends.  I also learned that I would regain self-respect even after years of self-loathing and shame. 

God bless BJ and all the people that You’ve populated my life with who loved me before I could love myself.  Amen.  So be it!